Yesterday I found the following in my inbox from The Daily OM. I read over it a few times, emailed it to a friend, and thought about it for the rest of the day. I want to share it with you, if you don't "subscribe" to this newsletter.The Friend We Want To Be
Evaluating Our Relationships
There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we’re trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.
We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn’t so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.
An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.
We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn’t so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.
An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.
4 comments:
Great thoughts Teresa. Sometimes we do need to readjust our thought processes and make some delicate changes to our relationships. Sometimes the smallest changes can have the largest impacts on our lives.
Janet
I loved reading this because it puts into words something that I have done for years.
I do not deal well with negativity. I need to feel positive in order to function well. So my approach has always been to expect positive from my friends. I have discussed it with many friends over the years, and the result has never failed.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
Yes, I would agree for the most part, but I think I might give my friend the opportunity to see what he or she was doing with the negativity before cutting my friend loose.
I think this is an excellent subject to consider and will help us be not only better friends to others but to ourselves as well.
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